Today is the 70th day since you were gone. I can't stop counting the days. I think it might be the fear. I fear that I will forget about you if I stop counting.
One of my new friend, Wei, invited me to check out a kitten last night. You never met her before. She is very kind and also a cat lover, I believe you would like her if you could meet her. She also just lost her beloved cat recently, few weeks earlier than me. We talked a lot about you and her cat, and she couldn't stop crying. I surely understood how painful she felt, it just happened to me last week when I couldn't stop missing you.
The tears may dry. But I think it may never ends, the missing.
She wanted me to keep the kitten, and perhaps the kitten may heal both of us. But you know, I am so afraid. I can't stand the pain of losing anymore, even though I know I might have to experience it again years later. And, it comes too soon. Am I ready? Is CK ready? I'm also afraid that I might not love the kitten as much as I love you.
No one can replace you, my precious.
Tonight, the moon is so bright and pretty. I am going to light a candle for you, and hope that you will receive my blessing and love.
Hope you well and joyful, my dearest baby forever.
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